The real reason we’re never getting a CM Punk comeback match

The real reason we’re never getting a CM Punk comeback match
The real reason we’re never getting a CM Punk comeback match

It is incredible how much wrestling fans love CM Punk. No, not “incredible” in a sarcastic sense either. The genuine adoration felt for this cat is pretty cool because not many celebrities, much less any wrestlers, are elevated to that privileged position. Always seen as someone of the people, “the voice of the voiceless,” and just really damn good at what they do.

But even Stevie Wonder can see that part of Punk’s allure comes from what he didn’t give us.

We never got that last match. We didn’t even get a proper goodbye. Punk did what, at the time, was only possible for opera singers and George Costanza: he left on a high note. More importantly, he exited on his terms and nobody else’s. If there’s one celebrity who can relate and who conjures similar emotions from the faithful, it’s OutKast’s Andre 3000.

Andre is a living legend. His body of work purely as OutKast’s other half is impressive AF. Pretty sure a lot of solo rappers would kill for his verses on “Return of the G,” “Throw Some D’s (remix),” or “Elevators.” It’s an injustice only naming three songs, but your time is limited. The point is, Andre always left his audience wanting more. When OutKast unofficially stopped being a thing, 3 Stacks let fans know they could dry their eyes because his solo album was incoming.

That was about a decade ago.

Since then, Andre Benjamin (no relation, I swear) spends his time whetting our appetites with dope guest verses and whatever this is. Like Punk, he effectively teases what dreams may come and gives fans something to talk about. Punk proposing multiple scenarios for his possible, maybe return to wrestling will always elicit swoons. With visions of Punk vs. Roman Reigns, Punk vs. the Tokyo Dome, or Punk vs. Kenny Omega dancing in their heads, it’s easy to fall in love with the possibilities.

“Possibilities” is the keyword in the sentence above this one. As long as Andre never actually produces a solo album, it can be the greatest thing ever in the history of Hip-Hop. 3000 going solo can be anything fans want that experiment to be because, as of now, it’s basically fairy dust—no offense to those of you who believe in fairies. A Punk comeback is in the same mythical vein.

As long as he never steps between those ropes, Punk’s next match will always be the best thing to come along since that idiom about sliced bread. As humans, we love what we can’t have and always look to the next big thing over the horizon. As long as Punk continues flirting with us, we’ll always wonder, “what if ?”

Suppose Andre’s fabled album or Punk’s long-sought comeback ever became a reality. There’s no way either could live up to their impossible expectations. That “what if” would change to “why’d you even” quick enough to induce whiplash.

Still, Hip-Hop fans keep clamoring for an unfiltered Andre 3K album despite all the evidence in front of us. Despite all the evidence in front of us, wrestling fans keep pontificating about a CM Punk comeback. Both men know the thing that all wrestling fans understand in our heart of hearts, even if we only want to whisper it: the real money is always, and forever will be, in the chase.

Am I wrong, cagesiders? Should we hold out hope or is Heels the best we’re going to get? Sound off!

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