Of course it was supposed to happen this way.
If you remember last week, I said that there was definitely going to be more bait and switch this week. Holy shit did I undersell that or what?
To be honest with you, them dragging it out like they did soured me on pretty much the whole show. Okay, 9:00 P.M. no now 10:00 P.M. no now the main event! That was maddening.
The countdowns were laughable but I didn’t mind the one to 9:00 P.M. and then 9:00 P.M. came and went. And then 10:00 P.M. came and went. Miz had a cramp, and then let the bell ring and took the title and ran off for a count out. Literally anything that he could think of as an excuse to try and get out of this match he tried.
And it failed. Nearing the end of the final countdown, Shane McMahon said he had to defend the title or else he would have the title taken away and given to Lashley. Shane even threw in a special match to make sure Miz didn’t get away – a Lumberjack match!
So all of the heels who could have interfered in this match didn’t. Shane didn’t pull any shenanigans, neither did Braun, who was actually a lumberjack! I was waiting for it. Braun was very angry earlier in the night, RETRIBUTION was there, I was prepared for anything really.
I knew that Lashley wasn’t going to be the champion at the end of this show.
And my God does it feel amazing to be wrong!
As I said, it was exactly how it was supposed to happen. Miz weaseled and weaseled and in the end, he got dominated and tapped out to the Hurt Lock. Bobby Lashley is the new WWE Champion. This is incredible. I am so happy for him. He was very emotional about it and that made my night.
Bobby Lashley came back to WWE and was put in a feud with Sami Zayn, who brought out his sisters and tried to talk trash about him. He cut a very awkward promo telling them that he loved them. Yes, that did really happen. Then he got paired with Lio Rush and they had a fun run together, but Vince cut it after a few short months.
And then the Lana thing happened. That led us right into the pandemic and MVP was back and scouting talent. MVP chose Lashley and just like that, Lashley was reborn and as dominant as ever. MVP deserves a hell of a lot of credit for this night happening. He’s been a true guiding light for three souls lost to shit booking and floundering around in the mid card. Thank you, MVP.
Now we go to WrestleMania. Drew McIntyre said at the start of the show that whoever left the show as champion, he would be locked on them heading to the grandest stage.
Let’s get to the rest of the hits and misses of this show. For a full rundown of Raw, check out the live blog by Rev. Claire Elizabeth!
Former friends brawl
Drew called Miz the resident cockroach. Hahahahaaaaa. Sorry to the Miz fans out there.
That was great. Miz did great here too, buttering up Drew thinking he would get on his good side enough to interfere in the title match. Morrison’s suggestion of the “Three M-migos” was pretty funny.
I thought it was a great touch to remind us of last year’s offer from MVP to Drew, and I thought that telling us when the match was starting was smart. Really going for that second hour bump!
Anyway, Sheamus and McIntyre tore each other to shreds in proper blood feud fashion. Sheamus neatly caved McIntyre’s head with a knee to the face. Loved seeing someone finally do Sheamus’ 10 Beats of the Bodhran on him. McIntyre went for a futureshock DDT but was met with a nasty clothesline.
McIntyre then did the White Noise! Wow I did not expect that! They traded pinfall attempts and finally, the really awesome finish was McIntyre dive, duck, dip, dive, and dodging a Brogue Kick and hitting a Claymore to win.
This was a really great first match to start the show, after a bunch of talking.
Hahahahaaaaaa. I am so conflicted about all of this.
Okay. So clearly we’re heading to Braun Strowman vs. Shane McMahon at WrestleMania. How we’re getting there is… huh. Yeah.
Braun came out and wasn’t aware that he was going to be in a tag match, and didn’t know who his partner would be. This is a conspiracy, he said. So McMahon came out with Pearce and he went on about taking MBA classes and being all weird and all of a sudden Adam Pearce is tagging with Strowman in a Raw tag championship match. Huh?
Braun was actually pretty funny in this segment. Then the match came and he manhandled the tag champs. He threw Alexander across the ring multiple times. He powerslammed Benjamin and then Shane got up on the apron to get Braun to tag Pearce. And then Pearce got rolled up.
Alrighty then. This accomplished the goal of getting Braun pissed off and we’ll see where this goes I guess.
It finally happened
I’ve been loving Bad Bunny and Damian Priest since the start of this beautiful television friendship.
This was my least favorite iteration.
Why is Priest in a needlessly long match with Elias? This match was looooong. And sleeper holds galore. Something felt very off here. Thankfully Priest won, which I figured was happening but boy did it take us a while to get there.
Bad Bunny didn’t do anything this time around but stand around and try and get the referee to turn around when Ryker decked Priest behind his back. It’s great that he’s there! I love that he’s there! But this wasn’t the best week.
Let’s not do this again next week, please.
Seriously… is Randy Orton Okay?
Orton has confronted many people in his long WWE career, but never has Randy Orton confronted… um… Randy Orton before?
Kayla Braxton was interviewing Orton about what happened last week, and he said that he would not be as lenient as he had been with the twisted Bliss in the past.
Suddenly she popped up on the screen behind him. And then Orton popped up on the screen talking to himself. In a sinister demonic voice he said that he’ll soon come face to face with everything he’s done. And then non-demonic Orton started choking again.
Looks like we’re getting another Firefly Fun House match!
Charlotte Flair decides who she wants to face at… wait a minute
What a babyface!
Charlotte Flair said she wanted to be Asuka’s tag partner and she respects her. Asuka is at home injured due to Shayna Baszler’s kick to the face last week.
So how does she want to calm her friend in her hour of need? Going to her home, or sending her flowers and a get well soon card, calling her up, Zooming with her?
Nah she just announced that she wants Asuka’s Raw women’s title at WrestleMania. How nice, Charlotte! Seriously this is how WWE thinks good people act? Shayna and Nia called her out and then beat Charlotte up to start the match.
Charlotte won. Duh.
Riddle and Lucha House Party defeated RETRIBUTION
In the midst of all the tomfoolery on this show, we had an actually entertaining six man tag. Everybody had a quick sprint and urgency and a fire under their asses. It was quick but it was fun and it led to the next match.
Mustafa Ali defeated Riddle
Riddle was wearing down Ali’s arm and suplexed him out of the ring. Ali targeted Riddle’s arm and it looked painful. Ali went for another neckbreaker and Riddle transitioned into a submission in mid-air. Riddle was going up to the top rope and the masked group distracted the referee and Ali did… something to pick up the victory. It looked cool! Also really looks interesting to see Ali pin a champion!
Nia Jax defeated Naomi
Uh… this was pretty much a match I guess. Remember that Lana and Naomi won a “future WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Opportunity” and this was certainly a momentum killer. K.
What were your thoughts, Cagesiders?